Friday, February 09, 2007
{ Friday, February 09, 2007 }
Feeling damn crapy now. Just scolded ben cause of my maidWhy!?! whyy myy anger on him? What if he never forgives me?What if he goes far away? Will i be able to forgive myself?Im turning 14 and im in such a big mess. Wad can i do?I have sucide thoughts. But sometimes i dun wanna die.its not onlii about wad i did to ben todae.. but after that.. went to a sharp edge and scratced my own hand wit the metal sharp tingie?i cnt live such a suckish life. i wan it all to end. i want to be like last time..I want to be alone. I want to be able to enjoy life..i want to have my happiness. i want my freedom back. i want my space.But i guess im never getting it back ever. Well forget it.. i thought that todaewould be a happie dae. But i guess i was wrong as usual. Aren`t i always wrong?Aren`t i? im pissed at myself. Its my fault. I blame MYself. Sick of me. i EVEN hurt my ownbest friend`s heart by making jokes about her? Who am i? wad am i becoming? even i do not know the answer to that questions. wad am i going to do? i duno. i shall have a verii long thought about tis. i wish steven kor kor was online. or papi kor.. or bryan kor.. they would have helped me. But .. they have their own life. and problems to attened to. im always second.. with that. im ending here.LOVE. Lil EmO SharEn . (: